You have possibly came from the world of road bikes, where things are kept clean and bikes last a long time.
You have then bought a new trail bike and while wanting to learn a new skill, you also want to maintain your bike to the standard you are used to to maximise the value it will command when the time comes to sell it.
There is also a certain amount of guilt you feel inside when you damage something new and shiny.
I have travelled (still travelling) this path.
My advice is to make sure you have decent tyres, take it easy and build up slowly.
You will damage your bike but this is inevitable, detach yourself from it, deal with it.
Learn to smile on the outside and weep inside as you pick up the shattered bodywork and bend the levers back into shape